Day 5 – The art of doing nothing (kind of)

Today was… slow.
No grand ideas. No creative breakthroughs.
Just me, the rain outside, and that quiet hum in my head that said: “Do less.”

I didn’t paint. I didn’t sketch. I didn’t chase the next great masterpiece.
I just… let the day happen.
And honestly? That’s harder than it sounds.

Because I’m wired to push. To plan. To perform.
This whole 365-day art challenge? It’s not just about making art – it’s about becoming someone who shows up consistently.
But here’s the catch: showing up doesn’t always mean producing.
Sometimes it just means pausing.
And listening.

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I sat with a cup of tea and let my thoughts wander.
Why am I doing this again?
Why did I start this journey in the first place?

I want to become an artist who lives from her art.
But even more than that – I want to prove to myself that I can follow through. That I can build something. That I can grow roots and wings.
That my ADHD doesn’t get to define what I’m capable of.
That softness and chaos can coexist.
That I am allowed to be slow. And still be serious about my goals.

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Somewhere between the second coffee and scrolling through other artists online (yes, I know, dangerous…), I felt a familiar itch:
Comparison.
They’re more consistent.
They’re faster.
They sell more.
They have cleaner studios, better lighting, clearer messages.

But here’s what I reminded myself:
This journey is mine. Not theirs.
And I’m not here to win a race.
I’m here to make space.
For myself. For my stories. For all the things I’ve silenced for too long.

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So maybe today looks like nothing.
No post. No brushstrokes. No big emotional arc.
But internally, something shifted.

I gave myself permission to rest without guilt.
I reminded myself that growth happens in the in-between.
That quiet days are fertile ground.
That I don’t need to be brilliant every day – just honest.

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I’m still figuring out what success means for me.
Is it 1.000€ a month?
Selling a certain number of prints?
Reaching some follower milestone?

Maybe.
But maybe it’s also this:
Learning to trust myself.
Learning to stay with myself even when I feel off-track.
Learning to believe that showing up as I am is still worthy.

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So yeah.
Today was lazy.
And beautiful.
And needed.

And if you needed that reminder too:
You’re allowed to rest.
You’re allowed to take a breath without falling behind.
You’re allowed to be both ambitious and tired.
And you’re doing better than you think.